i have many thoughts today. i think, in fact, that the thoughts might have thoughts themselves. here, have three of them:
it’s so easy to believe that focus will come to us (or become us) when we need it, as we sit down at out desk/steering wheel/reading chair, that our brains will shift gear all by themselves. this is sometimes so, with habit (Pavlov but with the scent of coffee, a particular view) or stress (the deep sinking sensation as you consider Newton’s formulae applied to a 2-tonne vehicle at speed). but focus sometimes needs to be a choice we make, a division of our strength we make for ourselves. what a tricky thing it can be, though, the balance between trusting our mind to work out a course without our knowing, and grabbing it with both hands to set it straight.
i wrote before about the joys of losing myself. i’ve more recently thought about some other examples i didn’t think of then, namely losing myself to a screen (youtube quite often, or hacker news if i’m feeling more cerebral). this is quite a different sensation, i think than losing myself to a book or good film. i feel it may have something to do with the section above. perhaps. or maybe still it’s actually a sign that my desire to lose myself is not wholly positive. is there some desire for oblivion hidden in there, or escape?
electric blankets are wondrous and dangerous things. i’ve thought before that i might never leave but as i sit here i think this is the time. you’ll all have to just come and visit from now on. i might even share it. nah.